Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Well, I've done it. I've sent out a few query letters to my top three agent choices. I am not quite sure if I should be excited, happy, scared or completely panic stricken so to err on the side of caution, I am a delightful combination of all of the above. 

How is it possible that clicking that tiny send button can cause such a rush of fear and excitement?

The three ladies that I sent my query to are brilliant and talented and if any of them chose to represent me I'd definitely consider myself lucky. (No I'm not mentioning names at this time) So maybe that's contributing to my nerves.

My mind is  a mess. I know that rejection is a part of the process and I'm absolutely ready for that. In fact, I'm kind of feeling zen bout the whole rejection thing. I've realized that I will get rejected and if I couldn't handle that then this would not be an industry that I'd want to be a part of.

Each rejection is just  another step closer to finding that one yes that I need to get Scarlet published. I'm paying my dues and it is an inevitable part of my path.

Yet somehow, sending these three letters off has filled me with such dread and worry. I think it's because of who it is. These are my top choices. After months of pouring everything into this story (my heart, my soul, my sanity) and then the even harder task of editing, I spent weeks searching, researching and (yes I will admit it) cyber stalking the different agents.

It was a daunting task. There were a lot of names that caught my attention - over 30 agents made my first list. Then through a series of research sessions I managed to whittle that list down to the top 8. And from them - these three seemed to feel right for Scarlet.

And the logic behind this selection process was sketchy at best. At first, it was smart decisions. Double checking the agents I'd chosen against Preditors and editors and the Absolutely Write forums. Any agent that didn't make the grade, got the boot.

Then researching the agency websites to make sure that the Agents represented the Y/A historical genre that Scarlet is. A few more agents got knocked off the list.

Then my attention was turned to the social media - Twitter, blogs and facebook. I was suddenly stalking agents anywhere online that I could find them. This is where I made my final selections. Not based on anything more than the personalities that I could see through tweets and blog posts. I could myself sitting down for a cup of coffee with these ladies. I know that tweets and blogs are not a clear indication of  who a person is, but its a start. And it's all I had to go with, so I did.

And now here I am. I'm waiting impatiently, even though I've only sent the letters out 8 hours ago. Not expecting rejection, but prepared for it. Not expecting a positive answer but hoping for it.

You know, if this keeps up the next time I send out a few letters, I may need to be fitted for a lovely straight jacket before too long.