Wednesday, December 8, 2010

The Joys of Editing

I finally buckled down to begin what I hope is my final round of edits for Scarlet. (I'll likely continue to edit and tweak it until I can sell it but well, let's stay optimistic here.)

I knew that this round would be the toughest, but tonight was brutal. I sat down with the notes, comments, and corrections from my group of fabulous readers and my latest copy of Scarlet then I went nuts. I literally pulled apart the entire first chapter and put it back together. The first page  has exactly four sentences that are the same before I started this process tonight. Everything else has been edited, rewritten or changed.

Not that it was bad before. It was alright. Okay. Average.  I wanted better than that. I want to get Scarlet published. It's been my dream for so long to become a published author and with Scarlet, I have a tale that I think that there is a possibility. Hopefully I can make that dream a reality. If nothing else, I want to give it my best effort.

I'm not deluding myself into thinking that this will be easy. Not by a long shot. I am completely aware of how tough the competition is out there and just how difficult it will be just to get an agent to read my story. And I know that I likely have a mountain of rejection letters to wade through before I get there. Yet part of me has to remain hopeful. If I lose that spark of hope, what's the point in even trying? I might as well go back to tucking my stories onto the top shelf of my closet.

So instead, I have to push myself through this round of edits. I need to work harder on this novel than I've ever done before on a story. I am not afraid to shred my tale and piece it back together. Not if that's what it's going to take to make this story shine. Every comment I've received from my readers is being looked at carefully. And I have to say that I have some amazing girls reading for me. Their comments are tough, smart and for the most part, right. They've seemed to pick up on the little things that I had missed during my last round of edits and things that I didn't even realize needed fixing.

As I read through my edited version of Chapter 1 tonight, (outloud to my dogs - who looked at me like I was slightly mad) I was able to kick my self doubt to the curb.I'm sure it will be back with a vengence as I wait to hear from agents but for now, I am proud of what I have done with this crazy little story. Even if it never sees the light of day, I am pleased with how it has turned out.

So this turned out to be more of a pep talk to myself rather than any type of blog that makes sense, but that's okay. Sometimes a self-motivating talk is important.

Especially when I know that I have 20 more chapters to go.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Common courtesy... a thing of the past?

This post really has nothing to do with writing but I'm annoyed so where better to vent than here!

When exactly did common decency and kindness to our fellow human beings become a thing of myth?  It's not even December yet and the behaviour of the people in stores is horrendous. 

I went to get groceries today and it started before I even entered the store. As I went to grab a cart, I paused for a minute to rummage in my pocket for a quarter and the lady behind me sighed heavily. As though my two second pause was the most inconvenient thing that she had ever encountered in her life. So, in an effort to be polite, I smiled and stepped aside to let her into the one row of carts that I'd been blocking. She walked past the other two rows of carts to get at them and actually huffed as she stormed away.

Ok, someone was having a bad day, I thought. And I went ahead got my cart and made my way to the doors. It was then that the little old lady ran across the parking lot and darted into the door ahead of me. The had the gall to scowl at me when I skidded to a stop so that I would run into her.

So, two people in a row in a bad mood.... ok, it happens. It soon became apparent that it wasn't just those two. In fact, I was quick to realize that I had obviously woken up in a parallel universe where it was the norm to be angry, impatient and rude. And I was clearly out of place. I was cut off, people left carts blocking off aisles and wander off, and people were bitching at the staff. I was shocked and appalled.

Somehow I managed to get my groceries at record speed and get the hell out of there. Then I saw it. The simple act of kindness that stood out against the rudeness of the entire hour that I was there. An older lady got her groceries loaded into the cab and when the driver went to put the cart back for her and retrieve her quarter. The lady said "No leave it for someone else."

That's it, just leaving the quarter for someone else. I find is truly sad that that was the one act of kindness in my entire afternoon, but that only lasted for about three seconds. Before the lady's cab even pulled away from the curb, another lady brought her cart back. She proceeded to take the quarter from her cart and the other one as well. I suppose she needed that quarter to put gas in her gas guzzling Caddilac Escalade.

Seriously though,  I was left scratching my head. She was obviously not hurting for cash but she couldn't bear the thought of a single quarter sitting there for just anyone to use. She found it absolutely essential to piss all over someone else's good deed. Lovely.

The holidays are just over a month away. And of all the times in the year, wouldn't you think that this is the time for kindness and patience and just common courtesy for other human beings. I know it's a busy time of year, and I know that it can be expensive but no matter how stressed we are, there are people in worse situations.

I am organizing a huge food drive for the office that I work in. Our company has over 400 employees so I have devised a bit of a food drive competition that will go for an entire month. And I've gotten a few emails for fellow co-workers. Most have been things like asking for more details on what foods are most needed by the food bank or if they can include mittens and hats for kids as well.

But I've also gotten angry emails from people complaining about everything. I mean everything. People complaining that they don't have the money to donate, or they don't feel the prize is worth it. How can people be so petty and ridiculous over something like this? I mean, I'm broke too but I have a few cans in the cupboard of soups and pasta that I know can be used and that we won't miss.

Yes, we have a prize for the team who 'wins' the competition. The prize isn't much, just coffee and donuts for that team. Yet the prize isn't the main point of this, its the fact that an organization as large as ours can do a lot of good if we all pitch in just the littlest bit.

I'm just disheartened by it all today. I like to believe that people are inately good and kind but days like this, make me sincerely wonder if I am the abnormal one. Not that I am saying I'm better than anyone. I'm not by any stretch of the imagination. Maybe its just that my beliefs about my fellow humans are naive.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Self doubt is a vicious bitch

I know it happens to all writers (Hell, all people) at some point. That moment where you look at the story that you've been pouring your heart and soul into for months/years and you are overcome with an almost overwhelming wave of  insecurity. Nothing you've written is good enough. All those tiny little errors in your draft seem to leap off the page and taunt you. Every wording choice seem wrong and every description seems inept.

That's me tonight. I'm in the beginning stages of editing my newly finished novel. And maybe the best course of action is to sit back and put a bit of distance between us before I tackle the edits. Yet I continue to toil through and it's not going well.

I've texted a friend (my super supportive and encouraging writing budding) today with a desperate... I think I may have to trash a bunch of chapters and rewrite them. Her response was a rather subtle - DON'T DO IT OR I WILL KILL YOU.  Great... but I'm still left hating this. I didn't hate it days ago and I know I won't hate in days to come but today, I'm the moron who thought she could write.

How to get through it? Everyone will have their own methods of dealing with self doubt. Mine involves finding reading through other projects to find the decent work there. The stuff that I've already polished and worked on until my fingers bled. Stuff that I am proud of. Just to prove to myself that I can get this novel to that point. And I do a lot of reassurances to myself. "It's only a first draft. It's the bare bones of the novel, now I get to make it great." And I turn to people who know my writing and shamelessly pander for a few words of encouragement. The threat of death above actually helps more than I can say. She is the only person who's read this all. So she knows its a mess, but that comment means that she can see past that to where it could go, and she believes that I can get Scarlet there.

How do you get through the nagging self doubt? Or am I really the only one that deals with it (and I gotta tell you, if thats the case, my insecurities are going to sky rocket. LOL)

Friday, November 12, 2010

A writing process that seems to work for me

Almost a year ago, Jessi and I got into a long dicussion (as we usually do) about the series she had been slaving over for so long and the pesky little plot idea that wouldn't leave me alone. During the course of our very long winded and decidedly odd conversation, an idea was born. We'd form a bit of a writing team for the duration of our novels.

Now, you may be wondering, just exactly how that would work. Well, it's actually simple. We'd word war together, we'd encourage each other and we'd support each other through the many, many insecurities that we knew we'd face during this process. And I personally think it was a stroke of genius.

We each worked on our own projects but we eagerly read every word the other wrote and I think, because of it, some of our best writing was done.

As Nanowrimo rolled around, we were each nearing the halfway marks of our books and we needed a push to finish, so we created our own version of Nano. 30 days of writing insanity but not for the 50k words. No, our goal was simple - finish our first drafts of our novels. From there, naming December - Edit Month was an easy leap and it all led to our ultimate goal - send our query letters out to the first round of agents that we wanted to represent our books.

We are not even at the mid point of the month and we are both in the final stages of our books. I know without a doubt that I couldn't have done this as quickly without Jessi's support and encouragement. And damned if it wasn't a hell of a lot of fun in the process!

Oh, and if that weren't enough for my very talented friend, Jessi has just been offered position at a little site called The Best Damn Creative Writing Blog  just add a bit more excitement to her life.

Final chapters and writer's block - never a good combination.

After months of struggling with difficult characters and a plot that I loved and hated all at the same time, I am nearing the end of Scarlet. You'd think I'd be writing like a maniac, trying desperately to get the words out onto the screen.

Instead, I'm stalled. I am at a really pivotal part of my novel. The part that hopefully brings many different things that I've already written into play. It's not an easy section to write even though it should be. These last few chapters were formed in my head almost before anything else. Hell, even before I really knew Will, Ellyn, Robin and the gang.

So what is causing this sudden surge of writer's block? I have a few theories. (Bear in mind, I am a neurotic writer, who is just dealing with one of those days where I am hypercritical of everything I'm writing. It'll pass and I likely shouldn't write this blog til I get past this day buuut I'm gonna keep writing. )

I've seen this part of my book in my head a thousand times. I know what is going to happen. I know how my characters will react. Hell, if I had an ounce of artistic talent, I could paint a picture of the entire scene. Yet now that I'm faced with the challenge of putting it down, I am worried that I won't be able to get the picture across as clearly as I want.

As I said before, this part of the book is key. And I can't say very much about this but my biggest fear is that I will write this and the emotional impact that I'm hoping for won't be there. If the emotion isn't right, then the rest of the book will fall flat.

And my last theory is that I have truly gotten to know my characters. I know their quirks and their strengths, but it was their weaknesses that really made them real for me. I'm sad to come to an end of this book because I do love the characters so much. They've made me laugh and cry as I write their words. (And yes, I know this makes me sound crazy, but I'm sure that I'm not the only writer that feels this way.)

They started as ideas, mere shells of the characters that they grew into and each one became so well developed in my head. There were entire sections of plot that I had to change because the more I wrote the more I realized that what I thought Will would do, or what I thought Victoria would do was absolutely wrong. And I would spend hours reworking the plot to fit the characters.

In the beginning, the plot started from point A and travelled to point B. And as I started to write things changed. Suddenly, after leaving the station at point A the plot detoured to point C, ventured out to points D and E, and there was a slight layover at point F before darting over to point X but ultimately ended right back up at point B where it needed to be.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Time for an update

I have been really bad at updating in here but that's because I've been writing!! Scarlet is coming along really quickly this last month or so. I (along with Jessi Rose) are doing our own version of Nano this year. Our goal is not to hit 50k words. Our goal is simple. We have exactly 30 days to finish our books.

So far, Scarlet is sitting pretty comfortably at 35k and I have about 10 to 15 k left to write. I am hoping that it will be done by next weekend. And if I keep having nights like tonight, it won't be a problem. I wrote 2,500 words tonight.

Tonight I finished Chapter 16 and wrote all of Chapter 17. I have 21 chapters planned and a short epilogue so I am almost there! Then it's on to novel swap, and then edit and polishing. That is going to take a lot of work but I am still so excited about this book that I am actually looking forward to it.

And to celebrate, I figured I could post a little teaser from the opening scene to see what you think.




The warmth of the blood oozing over his hands stunned him. As the crimson liquid washed over the hilt of his sword and trickled down over his hands, Will forgot all about the other men who surrounded them. Two other men who, until this moment, had been just as eager to beat the somewhat gangly teenage boy as their dying cohort. All for a few moments with a young woman who was now crying silently off to the side, watching the events unfold in horror.

Lifting his gaze to stare in disbelief into the eyes of the man standing before him, Will could sense the moment the man's life ended. A small light seemed to extinguish from deep within him.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

New blog for a new novel

After seeing that a good friend of mine had created a new blog for her book (the amazing Memoires of Daniel by the insanely talented, Jessica Rose) I decided that I loved the idea enough to create one for Scarlet.

Scarlet is my version of the Robin Hood legend, told through the eyes of Will Scarlet. Robin Hood plays an important role but the tale is really Will's. It is hopefully a fresh look at a story that I've always loved.  Will has always been my favourite character in those stories and movies and I love being able to get inside his head and wander around a bit.

My version of things isn't going to be like any of the other stories because of the change in perspective but the basic premise is the same. I'm only on the sixth chapter but I already have some characters that I love writing. They have really taken shape in my head and I hope I'm getting them across alright. Jessi seems to enjoy them and that is a huge relief.

Its pretty amazing to have Jessi writing her novel at the same time as I am writing mine. We have formed an awesome little writing group. We each read each other's work, we have word wars together, we discuss different aspects of the book and we offer each other critiques or just an ear to listen when one of us needs to verbally bounce something off the other. Not to mention the cheerleading and ego boosting that we do for each other. And anyone who has ever written anything will tell you, self doubt can be a creativity killer.

Anyway, I am going to go write a bit more of Scarlet and see if I can't get chapter seven started tonight.